sereneorange: (Default)
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I answered this earlier, but reading someone else's answer reminded me of this:

I told a woman who had6 miscarriages and desperately wanted a baby, "Perhaps you should eat a sandwich. I may be fat, but at least my body can sustain life. Your fetuses starve and die before they are ever born"

Not the kindest or classiest way to handle the issue.

I was working in the accounts receivable are of my college book store and Connor was about 4 months old. I came in every day and worked, kept my mouth shut, did my work, then went home to my baby. There was this impossibly thin Asian woman that worked with me and the other 4 women. They chatted all day, so I knew that the Asian woman kept getting pregnant than miscarrying.

One day they were talking about something and she said, ". . . take that fat cow over there for instance. . ." and gestured at me. WTF? I didn't ever say anything except "good morning", and have a nice evening"" every day.

So, I said, "Perhaps you should eat a sandwich. I may be fat, but at least my body can sustain life. Your fetuses starve and die before they are ever born" and left. She burst into tears and all the other ladies consoled her and when I got back told me how horrid I was. She didn't come back for days.

I didn't feel bad then. She was cruel to me for no good reason.

I feel bad now. I should have taken the high road. She was obviously a miserable person. I didn't need to make it worse. I could have stood up for myself with out cutting her so deeply.

I seem to have a knack for that. It is a sick talent. I have an innate ability to know what a person's insecurities and sensitive spots are and can stab them right there.

That is why I get quiet when I am angry now. You can't really ever take back when you say something. It is out. You can apologize, gloss over, spin, and lie, but you can never take anything you say back.
sereneorange: (Default)
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"If you had a brain you'd fucking take it out and play with it!"

This was cruel because I said it to a man who knew he wasn't terribly bright. I also said it loudly in front of his whole kitchen staff, the wait staff, and because of the open design of the restaurant, the customers (very class, I know).

I was angry because he was screwing up every order I had for the 14 tables I was waiting on and costing me money. I was hardly making anything that night because the customers were all upset. 

He cried. I had humiliated him. 

I went to him later and said, "I know I cannot take back what I said and how it hurt, angered, and embarrassed you, but I am AWFULLY sorry for doing it.  I promise you I will do everything I can so that I never do that to someone again. 

At that point I made a very strong effort to shut my mouth when I am angry until I can decide exactly how I want to say something. I think I slip up most often with Connor and that is not okay.  For the most part, I do really well.

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