One goddamn thing after another...

I have got to start meditating more. It is almost impossible because of my being innately highstrung coupled with the ADHD. But I get angry at work. I have no patience for the customers calling in and it takes an enormous amount of concentration and self control to be pleasant to them. I swear I want to answer the phone, "This is Marilyn Gerber. What the *FUCK* could you possible want now?" I have actually answered through my teeth at them. I wonder if they can hear it. My son has been making a consistantly poor choice to not do his homework at the YMCA after school, and so the 2 hours he is home before bedtime, he dawdles and avoids completion of the assignments. I have tried getting him up at 6 -6 30 am. This is ridiculous. He needs to snap out of it soon. We have tried rewards, and still do (although we are having to search harder and harder for something to reward. He has been grounded from his measly hour and a half of tv and game boy a week that he earned with his grades. He is a bright boy. He speaks 3 languages by the age of 9. He is clever and witty, and sweet to the core, which is why I am so fucking tired of being angry with him. I hate the choices he is making ( much like my parents hated mine) and am often so releived when he goes to bed. I keep thinking he will get tired of living this way soon and stop. Or, he could snap out of it around age 28 like I did. Jesus. My grandmother that lived with my sister that died in August is down to 85 pounds. She is awake 2 hours total a day, usually at midnight when there is noone visiting. She is not eating or drinking her milk. She wants to die. She has for a while. I just pray she has peace. She has outlived both her children and one grandchild. I cannot fathom what that must do to a woman. My brother lives there and my nephew visits about every 2 weeks. We are thinking about going up for Thanksgiving, but I cannot get the time off. Karen can, but is torn between not wanting to see her this way and knowing that if we were dying, Grandma would be right at our side. She has wanted to die for about 20 years now, and the death watch is getting tedious and emotionally draining. I pushed many people away while I was dealing with Linda's dying and my mourning after she was gone. I didn't go out, didn't want to talk on the phone. Now I am ready and am so stressed and busy, I have not been able to. This has to get easier soon.

What the hell happened to Liberal Media?

The L.A. Times will no longer refer to the attackers in Iraq as "resistance fighters." The word came down last night from assistant managing editor Melissa McCoy, keeper of the LAT copy desks and usage rules.
The ban was issued by Melissa McCoy, a Times assistant managing editor, who told the staff in an e-mail circulated on Monday night that the phrase conveyed unintended meaning and asked them to instead use the terms "insurgents" or "guerrillas."


From: McCoy, Melissa
Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 7:56 PM

Subject: fighting in iraq

Colleagues,

We have, in recent days, referred to those attacking American forces in Iraq as "resistance fighters." Although this term is not inaccurate on its face, it conveys unintended meaning. To many, it romanticizes the work and goals of those killing GIs. We should avoid using it outside of quoted material.

The terms "insurgents" and "guerrillas" are also accurate descriptors and are preferred in this context. Please use them instead.

Thank you,
Melissa

Allan Siegal, assistant managing editor of the New York Times, told Reuters that he agreed with the decision made by his West Coast rivals.


"We don't have a policy but when you mentioned the phrase it sounded like romanticizing to me," Siegal said. "I don't think it's the kind of cool, neutral language we like to see."

**What the fuck? Guerrillas is a cool neutral word?**

President Bush is a Tool

"You know, when I was running for President, in Chicago, somebody said, would you ever have deficit spending? I said, only if we were at war, or only if we had a recession, or only if we had a national emergency. Never did I dream we'd get the trifecta." ----George W. Bush, making a 'joke' in 2002 (as it turns out, Bush had never made this promise *anywhere* in the campaign. Al Gore however, did make the promise back in 1998. But we understand how Bushy could have gotten confused.)

from Stupid White Men-Michael Moore.