Banking Rant

Our systems are down, so when someone comes on my line I say,
"This is Marilyn Gerber, unfortunately we are having a system problem
and we are unable to access any account information. I
apologize for the inconvienence. Is there general
information I can assist you with?"

What I get in
response is :

• Yes, I would like my balance.
• I need help
  with my account
• I need a release of lein
• I need you to
  cancel an online bill payment

I have people not respond when I
say that. I repeat that I do not have access and they are silent. I have
had people ask if I was a robot. Let me assure you I have a very pleasant
and non monotone speaking voice. I think that I should start all
conversations with, "Hello, This is Marilyn Gerber and I have an anus
itch." That would certainly get their attention and I could just
refute that I had mentioned my anus. "Sir! I certainly did
not mention my anus! What an odd question."

***************************************************

Feel free
to email me and provide me
entertainment. I have the lovely <lj user=jsjeep4x4> sending me
yahoo text messages to my yahoo messenger. My user id is mybarbell

Won't you please help?

I am calling out to all on LJ with a big heart. jsjeep4x4is
losing her mind. We need to organize a team of people to catch her and
bring her into the state hospital. She is cunning and vicious and has been
known to chew holiday patterns and cheery messages into the behinds of
those who try to apprehend her. Good luck to whatever brave soul(s) takes
on this difficult and dangerous task.

Godspeed

And your little dog too!

See here! I am exacting my revenge on Alan roshov. See the
little doggie in his journal? Imma SNATCH him and hold him for ransom for
an apology from Alan for taunting me so.

Evil boy and his weiner dog!