I knew there was something wrong...

Apparently, I should not have been using the large brush in the
bathroom as a loofa and personal feminin cleaner. I did notice that it
didn't exactly fit. Come to think of it, that blue disc with a picture of
a toilet on the packaging might be the reason my skin has taken on a blue
tinge. I need to start reading the package warnings.

Toilet Brush Warning Wins Consumer Award

Thu Jan 6, 7:31 AM ET

By DAVID N. GOODMAN, Associated Press Writer

DETROIT - The sign on the
toilet brush says it best: "Do not use for personal hygiene."

That admonition was the winner of
an anti-lawsuit group's contest for the wackiest consumer warning label of
the year.

The
sponsor, Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, says the goal is "to reveal
how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common
sense warnings on products."

The $500 first prize went to Ed
Gyetvai, of Oldcastle, Ontario, who submitted the toilet-brush label. A
$250 second prize went to Matt Johnson, of Naperville, Ill., for a label
on a children's scooter that said, "This product moves when
used."

A
$100 third prize went to Ann Marie Taylor, of Camden, S.C., who submitted
a warning from a digital thermometer that said, "Once used rectally,
the thermometer should not be used orally."

This year's contest coincides with a
drive by President Bush (news - web sites) and congressional
Republicans to put caps and other limits on jury awards in liability
cases.

"Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued
times," said group President Robert Dorigo Jones. "From the
moment we raise our head in the morning off pillows that bear those famous
Do Not Remove warnings, to when we drop back in bed at night, we are
overwhelmed with warnings."

The leader of a group that opposes
the campaign to limit lawsuits admits that while some warning labels may
seem stupid, even dumb warnings can do good.

"There are many cases of
warning labels saving lives," said Joanne Doroshow, executive
director of the Center for Justice and Democracy in New York. "It's
much better to be very cautious ... than to be afraid of being made fun of
by a tort reform group."

The Wacky Warning Label Contest is
in its eighth year.

banking rant

just oh my freaking god....

• I just adore some people from
  the northern US states, but I have got to tell you, I am so glad I only
  read what you write online. I swear sometimes it is unbearable to listen
  to people speak who are in Michigan, Illinois, Wisconsin, and
  bloody hell the sounds that come out of people
  from Minnisota. It really isn't even so much the men, just the women. The
  pain that can be caused from one woman butchering the letter A. I know
  everyone thinks a Southern drawl sounds stupid, but at least it is
  charming and doesn't make brains ooze out of the listeners'
  ears.

• I just got off a call with an insanely
  inarticulate woman who wanted to order checks. That call should not have
  taken 25 minutes. For some reason, people think when they call, they need
  to tell us the reason for everything. I do not care why you need checks. I
  am fairly certain it is so that you can make payments. I do not care why
  you moved. I do not need to spell everything for me. I know I do a job a
  monkey can do, but I guarendamntee you that if it was a monkey, it would
  be a spelling monkey. As soon as she found out
  that I was located in Houston, she started flipping out and crying that
  this long ass call was going to cost her so much long distance. She dialed
  a local number. She dialed the same area code as her home phone number. Of
  course she couldn't just rant, she had to ramble as well. Listing out
  every frickin number that we have and blah blah blah blah
  blah mouth diarhea. SWEET CHOCOLATE CHRIST YOU COW, SHUT UP. SHUT
  UP. SHUT UP! I managed to calm her down, but I do not think she
  beleived me. I am certain she will call back a million times to ask about
  it. God help her if it is me she gets again. Thank goodness this bank is
  genormous and that is not very likely