Dave, my nephew started doing drugs when he was young. When he was 12, my grandmother found him passed out in her garden shed from huffing gasoline from her mower.
When he was born, he was a sweet, gentle, loving little baby. By the time he was 2, he was sad, scared, and angry. His parents were crack heads. There was neglect and abuse. His dad, my brother, went to prison to serve (I think) 3 out of 7 years for fraud and hot checks (about $10,000). His mother held her shit together best she could during that time. Dave and his brother BJ lived with their Grandmother (who had one leg and a serious co-dependant issue) and I think their mother technically lived there. She has been in and out of rehab.
When David got out of prison, he pulled a business out of his ass as usual and was quickly successful and wealthy. He bought land, a house, built a pool and a pool house full of video games, a pool table, 4 wheelers, tons of soda, candy, and was a boys dream place to grow up. All except the house was full of rage and anger. David choked Davey at least twice to the point of seizure. They boys were berated and screamed at all the time. David was watching his boys make all the same mistakes and couldn't understand that since they had "everything a boy could want" now, they weren't okay. He couldn't make himself connect their early childhood with their problems as teens.
Davey was in trouble a lot. He was angry all the time. He was stealing and doing drugs. He and his friends robbed a man at an ATM machine and when the man followed them in their car calling the police on his phone, Davey shot at him. Thankfully, he missed. David got him a good attorney and posted bail. Davey skipped bail and was on the run for a while. Because of that, he got the maximum of 15 years (14 years for Aggrivated Robbery and 1 year for Breaking And Entering- Probation Revocation) That time started January of 2006. I think the soonest he can get out is 2015. The time he was on the run might have been the hardest. I know we were all afraid when he was found, he would be found dead. I spent years thinking every time I saw David, it would be the last time I saw him.
The upside, is this is the longest Davey has been sober since he was a child. Karen and Connor went to see him when they were up there last Summer. Connor and I went up to see him this week during Spring Break. I only cried a little, and not in front of Davey. He asked us to send him more books. He has read everything we sent him except Les Miserable. My brother, David, read it when he was in jail and said it changed his life. I think it may be a bit much for Davey. Davey is asking for "The Art of Seduction" I don't want to send him that piece of shit. I explained what it was and the type of woman he will be attracting with this. He agreed that he can get crazy and pathetic on his own, but when I left he insisted that he still wanted to read it and asked for it again. *sigh* Fine, but I need to send him something else to counteract that bullshit, but I have no idea what that would be.
That pavillion with all the prisoners and their families may have been the saddest place I have ever been. I cannot fathom visiting my husband or parent there. If I had to see Connor in jail it would kill me.
When I called David last weekend and mentioned coming up to visit, the gratefulness in his voice was heartbreaking. His oldest boy is in prison, his youngest is on drugs and full of more anger than I ever saw in David or Davey. He has no relationships, and works all the time to pay for this giant house he is building. He is building this giant, beautiful house, and will be all alone in it. Maybe when Davey gets out, he will be able to stay sober and join David in the business. David always planned on his boys taking over his tree business, but he is an ass to work for and neither of the boys seem to be interested. I have no idea what Davey wants, but BJ wanted to be a mechanic.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
