Smarten up

[sereneorange]

Alright  account holders! Pay attnetion:

You can call the FCC
about our handling of your checking account, but I do not think it will do
much good.

It is a checking account, not a checkins account. I know
it is savings. But it is singular for checking just because, and you sound
stupid for adding an s

In-suf-ficiant funds! Not
insignificant, although, yours are currently fairly
insignificant.

When I ask, "How may I help you?" I am
gonna need you to say something besides, "I am calling about my
account." or you are going to continue to hear the silence I am
giving you till you tell me what you want.

I talk for 8 hours a day.
Non stop except lunch. I will not be saying "Uh-huh" after every
3 words so you know I am still breathing. Stop saying
"HELLO!?!?!!?"  after every sentance.
I am still here. (my new response to this is
"Hi!" ...

I will start letting people who are not
on the account they are calling about have information on it , or change
addresses, or whatever as soon as you give me your banking information and
I can call and order checks, change the address, and find out how much
your have. Seems like a fair trade to me.

Thank you,

Your
Friendly Neighborhood Banker