Babies

[sereneorange]

Alright, I have gathered from the people I work with that I am a damaged woman. I don't like babies. There I said it. People always swoon about how yummy they smell. That is not so. Baby products smell good. Babies stink. They have a diet that is heavily dairy and the little buggers are sour smelling. Scrub them with pine o pine and a wire brush and they are still sour.Then there is the issue with the fact that they are needy little parasites. They don't do ANYTHING but shit eat and sleep. Useless. I know it seems especially wrong, what with me being a mother and all, but Con is mine and quite frankly was an exceptional baby. It is like the great forces in nature knew what I could handle and gave me a kid that did not hardly cry, picked his big ass up at 5 1/2 months and began walking while holding on with furniture, could speak clearly ( and is 9 years old on his 3rd language thank you very much-can read, speak and write in spanish but we are losing the sign language. I need to work with him on that) and is witty as hell. Damn I hate a child that is a dullard. People bring their little bags of stink to the office and start to hand it to me. I do not want the friggin' baby. Bring it back when it is walking and talking and wiping it's own ass. Then I will ooh and ah over your child. I do not get the baby craving that I see women go through. I swear the best birth control is baby sitting.