Con's attitude toward gays/ 30 days
Jun. 25th, 2008 08:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sereneorangeMorgan Spurlock is the guy who did the movie Super Size Me where he ate at McDonalds for 30 days and detailed what it did to his health and spirit. He has a show called 30 Days where in each episode, Morgan or someone else immerses themselves in a lifestyle that is unfamiliar or contrary to their beliefs.
Last night, an episode about same sex parenting was aired. I had Con watch it with us. (clicky the cut for synopsis)
PARTICIPANT - Kati, 41
RESIDES - Fullerton, CA
OCCUPATION - Substitute Teacher
AIRDATE - Tuesday, June 24, 2008 Kati believes that children should be raised by a mother and a father and not by same-sex parents. As the mother of two adopted sons Kati believes that she has ample experience to determine what kind of environment is conducive to healthy, successful adoptions. In fact, Kati was adopted as an infant herself.
For 30 Days, Kati will live in Ypsilanti, Michigan with domestic partners Dennis and Thomas Patrick and their four adopted sons: Josh, 11; Paul, 8; Joey, 8; and Raul, 6. The Patrick's have been together for 10 years, and in 2001, Thomas legally changed his last name to Patrick. Kati will attend church with the family, help the boys get ready for school each morning and talk candidly about her views on parenting and gay adoption as she observes how the Patrick's parent their boys.
Kati will volunteer and travel to the state capitol with the Coalition for Adoption Rights Equality (CARE), a children's advocacy group lobbying for legislation to legalize dual-parenting rights for same-gender couples. She will socialize with women from the Lesbian Mom's Network, a group that connects lesbian mothers and their children with families like their own. She will also meet with former foster children who talk about what it's like to grow up without parents or a permanent home and the need for more foster parents.
There was a lot of pausing the show to talk about what was going on in it. We prompted Connor with a lot of questions to see how he would argue a particular point or what flaws he saw in a certain position someone was taking.
There was a point where Connor was concerning me because he was saying things similar to what I heard from a lot of teenage boys regarding gays.
That isn't accurate. I have heard horrid things from other teenage boys and I was concerned when Connor would say something as little as "I would be uncomfortable if I had a gay friend" I strongly suspect he has one that will eventually come out of the closet one day.
I was pleased with Con's answers to the questions now. He thought them through and gave thoughtful answers. I asked what he would do if a friend of his (and gave a specific name) were to tell him he was gay. Con said nothing would change. I said, "would you still introduce him to your other friends? " Con said he would. I asked what he would do or feel if his other friends made fun of that friend or Con because Con's friend was gay" He said a very 14 year old boy response like "I would punch them" I explained that hitting people because they said something you didn't like wasn't an option. He said, "If they have a problem with it, it is their problem. There is no reason to not like someone just because they are gay. If they don't like him for who he is, it is their loss."
YES! He gets it! I feel like Karen and I are a success when things like this come about. Yes, I wish he had better grades. I wish he didn't get surly and sneaky. More important than these things, is that he grows into a man who is empathetic, accepting and open minded.
Then we hit a snafu. We got on the subject of religion. Now, this is where Con loses his tolerance. Part of it is our fault for our snarky comments throughout the years about other religions. A big part of it is Christian kids yelling "SINNER" and "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL" at him in school all through elementary and middle school. That is pretty much the same kind of crap that left me feeling about them so that I would make the snarky comments to begin with.
Karen and I explained that he needed to know about religions. He needed to understand them not just for the purpose of finding what fits for him, but so he can understand other cultures, history, global economies, foreign policy, etc. We have book on the shelves of the major religions and a few minor ones as well. He was pretty much shutting his mind down. I decided to take him to church. I asked my friend Tiffany if we could go with her. Connor is putting up quite the fight. Too bad. He is going. I also need to find a Jewish Temple and a Mosque to take him to. That will be more difficult. I am determined to make it happen though.
Last night, an episode about same sex parenting was aired. I had Con watch it with us. (clicky the cut for synopsis)
PARTICIPANT - Kati, 41
RESIDES - Fullerton, CA
OCCUPATION - Substitute Teacher
AIRDATE - Tuesday, June 24, 2008 Kati believes that children should be raised by a mother and a father and not by same-sex parents. As the mother of two adopted sons Kati believes that she has ample experience to determine what kind of environment is conducive to healthy, successful adoptions. In fact, Kati was adopted as an infant herself.
For 30 Days, Kati will live in Ypsilanti, Michigan with domestic partners Dennis and Thomas Patrick and their four adopted sons: Josh, 11; Paul, 8; Joey, 8; and Raul, 6. The Patrick's have been together for 10 years, and in 2001, Thomas legally changed his last name to Patrick. Kati will attend church with the family, help the boys get ready for school each morning and talk candidly about her views on parenting and gay adoption as she observes how the Patrick's parent their boys.
Kati will volunteer and travel to the state capitol with the Coalition for Adoption Rights Equality (CARE), a children's advocacy group lobbying for legislation to legalize dual-parenting rights for same-gender couples. She will socialize with women from the Lesbian Mom's Network, a group that connects lesbian mothers and their children with families like their own. She will also meet with former foster children who talk about what it's like to grow up without parents or a permanent home and the need for more foster parents.
There was a lot of pausing the show to talk about what was going on in it. We prompted Connor with a lot of questions to see how he would argue a particular point or what flaws he saw in a certain position someone was taking.
There was a point where Connor was concerning me because he was saying things similar to what I heard from a lot of teenage boys regarding gays.
That isn't accurate. I have heard horrid things from other teenage boys and I was concerned when Connor would say something as little as "I would be uncomfortable if I had a gay friend" I strongly suspect he has one that will eventually come out of the closet one day.
I was pleased with Con's answers to the questions now. He thought them through and gave thoughtful answers. I asked what he would do if a friend of his (and gave a specific name) were to tell him he was gay. Con said nothing would change. I said, "would you still introduce him to your other friends? " Con said he would. I asked what he would do or feel if his other friends made fun of that friend or Con because Con's friend was gay" He said a very 14 year old boy response like "I would punch them" I explained that hitting people because they said something you didn't like wasn't an option. He said, "If they have a problem with it, it is their problem. There is no reason to not like someone just because they are gay. If they don't like him for who he is, it is their loss."
YES! He gets it! I feel like Karen and I are a success when things like this come about. Yes, I wish he had better grades. I wish he didn't get surly and sneaky. More important than these things, is that he grows into a man who is empathetic, accepting and open minded.
Then we hit a snafu. We got on the subject of religion. Now, this is where Con loses his tolerance. Part of it is our fault for our snarky comments throughout the years about other religions. A big part of it is Christian kids yelling "SINNER" and "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL" at him in school all through elementary and middle school. That is pretty much the same kind of crap that left me feeling about them so that I would make the snarky comments to begin with.
Karen and I explained that he needed to know about religions. He needed to understand them not just for the purpose of finding what fits for him, but so he can understand other cultures, history, global economies, foreign policy, etc. We have book on the shelves of the major religions and a few minor ones as well. He was pretty much shutting his mind down. I decided to take him to church. I asked my friend Tiffany if we could go with her. Connor is putting up quite the fight. Too bad. He is going. I also need to find a Jewish Temple and a Mosque to take him to. That will be more difficult. I am determined to make it happen though.