Loser

I just cannot feel like more of a fuck up. Last month I messed up my bank account. Yes. I am an online banker for JP Morgan Chase and Co. and I was overdrawn like a muthafucker. I forgot to add in two ACH drafts that come out and POW! So my sister has had to be making up for it and paying almost everything which means that some of our bills were underpaid or not paid at all. I have been sick for 3 weeks now. Throwing up and crying and feeling like shit.
Our mother asked us to make a shadow box for a friend of hers and bought all the shit at Michaels and Hobby Lobby to do it. We are supposed to have it ready for her Sunday afternoon. Sometime during the week, I had told Connor to take the trash out and asked him to take that bag. Karen and I pulled everything out of the dumpster, with roaches crawling up and we stink, and it is hot and I had my sister with Lupus out there in the sun with me and she is not supposed to be in the sun. It is gone. We have to go get everything again. But I still have no money, so my sister will be paying for it. I called my mom to tell her and was trying to not cry, but I feel so damn bad and like such a fuck up. She assured me it was okay and she can get another AA chip (oh yeah, a gold AA chip was in the bag too) and it is fine. But it isn't. I am fighting off the desire to throw up and my stomach is killing me. Everytime she assures me it is fine in a sweet voice, I feel even worse and start crying like a big fucking sissy.