tales from the bank

It is so hard to not laugh at them sometimes.

This man called today because he had called twice and noone had called him back when they said they would. He spoke to a banker yesterday morning and they stupidly told him their manager would call him back in an hour with an answer. That is unrealistic.

A few weeks ago, he called in to apply for a checking account over the phone. When he checked him out through chexsystems, he had derogetory reporting from at least one other bank, so we declined opening a checking account for him. We sent him a letter telling him so.

Unfortunately, when we did that, the cover letter was his, but the next two pages were someone else's complete with name and social security number. So, he called freaking because obviously the jackass that works in ICS stuffed his info in another envelope and mailed it to someone else. Brilliant. There is a reason they make crap money there. ( the insane little gutter trash that pushed me in the elevator is in ICS).

He was accusing us of mailing out his info all over the country. He wanted us to fix it.
First I delt with the first problem. He was being a real dick. I told him, " I aplolgize for the error. I understand why you are upset. I would be too. Let me assure you though that there was only one letter mailed out declining the checking account, not several and it would have only been mailed to one address. Unfortunately that was not your address." He kept ranting at me asking how he could be sure of that. I finally told him. "When we decline to open an account for someone, we do not rub their noses in it. There is just one letter we mail to them declining the relationship."  He took it as rudely as  I meant it.  I listened to him rant some more.
I cannot imagine how we are going to correct the error. I think the only way to do that would to be call each person we mailed to that day, assuming we could narrow that down (starting with the man who's info we mailed to him) and ask if they have his information. That is just not bloody likely.

I asked him what he would like to see happen (to find out how to appease him and because I really was clueless) He started going off about how we need to find out why  this happened (well that is easy enough. Some dumbass fucked up) and get his information back( sure because if anyone wanted to do something wrong with it, they couldn't copy the letter or write it down before sending it back to us.) I really do understand why he is upset, but I think he was overreacting and was a bit of a dick to me personally, so I started to care less and less as the call went on. He started to go  on and on about identity theft. He created a scenario of people running around opening credit cards and loans in his name and ruining his credit.

I absolutely couldn't stop myself from pointing out the following: We couldn't even open a checking account for you. He apparently cannot even keep a checking acoung above a zero balance, let alone a loan or line of credit in good standing. So the most that is gonna happen is someone is going to run around getting declined for checking accounts.

The manager called him back within 2 hours.

God I hate my job.

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(no subject)

Since I am the person you call up to curse out when you call the bank, I got this call today:

 A man calls in and is immediately asking for a "manager, NO..the vice president of the bank!". (uh.. as long as you are shooting high, why not ask for the pres?) Of course, I am supposed to see if there is something that I can do, before breaking down and getting him a manager.
He says a few snide things then lets me look at his account. While I am pulling it up I can tell by what he is saying that this is a deposit hold issue, but when I bring that up, he spazzes out and tells me it is not . He says the problem is that we took money out of the wrong account.
So I pull the account up. Guess what? Deposit hold issue.
The branch screwed up. Shocker. (sarcasm)
The man has 3 checking accounts.
In account #1, he deposited 32,000. 
In account #2 he deposited 6,000.
The brilliant rep at the branch placed a hold on the account # 2 for both deposits
Then, the deposit loss prevention area looks at the 32k dep, sees no hold and places a memo hold on the account. And that is fine, even with the customer . No big deal. It is expected. However the erroneously placed 32k hold is making his account that had like 13k reflect a negative $25000. available balance.
Now, I know what needs to happen. I need to call the branch that placed the origional hold and let them know they need to remove it.
Why is it that I am the only person that knows this all day? Why did he speak to several reps on the phone and in the branch included 2 supervisors and a manger that was supposed to call him back and didn't. Shocker, this is the same manager that didn't call the customer back yesterday regarding us mailing out his information to someone else.
I place the customer on hold. Call the branch. I check back with him every few minutes to let him know I have not forgotten him, haven't abandoned him and am getting this fixed for him.
He hangs up. I am trying to note the account to not touch it when he calls back and speaks with someone else.- that I am taking care of it.
The system is failing .
I  get the problem corrected, thank the manager, call the customer back. His voicemail is full. I look at the contact history and he has spoken to someone else who noted that he is on way to bank to close all accounts. I call the customer again. He is pissed. Apparently he spoke to two people after he hung up from me. The first person cussed him out, surely because this man is a dick, and hung up on him.
I explain that I have corrected it, aplologize for the poor service and inconvienence. He doesn't care. He is closing his accounts anyway. I called the branch manager to give her a heads up.
On one hand, I feel like saying good riddence. He really was a dick. I have had to deal with issues like this before and it would never have occured to me to cuss out a rep on the phone. On the other hand, who can blame him? Why was this not fixed right away?  And what the hell is so damned hard about calling a customer back and saying, "I do not have your problem fixed, but I am working on it. I wanted to let you know I have not forgotten about you. "? sheesh.