Stinky Bank Rant

Apparently the bowels of hell have opened up and they are located right
below my office building.

There is an overpowering, oppressive, and
overwhelming stench of raw sewage. We are slowly dying.

I am on the
second floor which has a balcony in the middle, that opens to the first
floor which has a balcony that opens to the tunnel system where all the
shops and restaurants are located. Throughout the day there is the smell
of food wafting up, not always good, and the din of all of the people
milling around below. Today I have a great green funky fog surrounding us
all and the catterwalling of the worst carolling I have heard in a long
while.

I really wish I was home, but am afraid walking out the
doors would place me closer to the origin of the funk.

Banking Rant

C: customer

M: Me

 

Customer is calling because he is trying to make a
withdrawl. His account has a balance of $600 + but there is a hold on
account that is showing negative available. The notes on the account look
like it is going to be closed, but doesn’t really make it clear why or
when, so I need to call another department to find out what is going on
with the account

 

M: I need
to place you on hold for a moment if that is okay. The notes are not clear
about what is happening in the account and I need to call another
department. Is it okay if I place you on hold?

C: Sure that is okay……………(as I am reaching for hold button)…WAIT !
Can I ask you a question?

M: Yes
sir.

C: I am at the bank now. Can I make a
withdrawl?

M: No sir. There is no available
balance. I need to check and see why that is. May I place you on
hold?

C: Sure that is okay……………(as I am
reaching for hold button)…WAIT ! Why is there no available
balance?

M:  The notes are not clear about what is happening in the
account and I need to call another department. Is it okay if I place you
on hold?

C: Yes……………(as I am reaching for hold
button)…WAIT ! Can I ask you a question?

M: Yes sir…..

C: so, I
cannot make a withdrawl right now?

M: *……..the hell?………* 
No sir. There is no available balance. I need to check and see why
that is. May I place you on hold

C: Sure that is okay……………(as I am reaching for hold button)…WAIT !
Why is there no available balance?

M: *Grabs car keys and
begins to saw through wrists…*