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Mar. 30th, 2008
I have been thinking about how exactly I wanted to get this out. Free thought flow seems to be the only way I can come up with, so bear with me.
My brother for years has been partaking of the services of hookers. While he is sober and successful, he is possibly the most miserable person I have ever known. His childhood was shit. He was pushed away by people who had a better relationship with their bottle of liquor than their children. He spent most of his life putting any kind of poison he could find into his body and numbing up instead of learning how to have relationships like the rest of us.
He is initially charming when someone meets him. He is clever, quick, witty, and smart. He is generous. That quickly falls to the side as he begins to demonstrate to people how he is smarter and better than they are. Even if he has made the same mistakes, that was in the past, not now, so he is better than they are. His generosity stems a lot from his belief that his worth is in his wealth. He doesn't seem to think he has anything else to offer but money, so he offers it up generously. He spends so much time being an obnoxious braggart, no one sticks around too long to show him how he really does have other redeeming qualities.
So... no nookie unless he pays for it. He used to say in front of his two teenage boys, "I don't pay them for sex. I am paying them to leave afterwards" He said that in front of me and his boys with his "Ain't I so clever " face on and I followed it up with a very dry, "Yes, David. Because you have always had such a hard time getting the ladies to leave. You have to beat them off with a stick now, is it?" I heard BJ saying it once when I was up there. BJ smells so bad, you cannot convince me there is a lady that gets within 10 feet of him. She would have to be just as stoned as he is.
While Connor and I were visiting, we caught a 20/20 episode that was talking about prostitutes and johns. It was a follow up on a previous show they had done before. This show depicted clearly how pathetic and broken and sad and sick these women were. At every commercial Connor and I would talk about how the women didn't like this. They hated themselves, they hated the men, they had to get drunk and high to do it. They only laughed at and pitied the men. David was sitting near by listening. He got up at one point and got a list of names and numbers and showed it to me asking, "Do you know what this is" I said, "Yes. A list of female names and phone numbers" He said, "yes.. but do you know WHAT they are?" I said, "Yes. And I am a little disturbed by the one named GRANDMA"
He shot back, "That is a number where I can get a hold of her at her grandmother's house"
"You hire hookers that are so pathetic they can't earn enough for their own place, they work out of their granny's house?!" "Whatever. I am not judging. If you are into old ladies, that is your bag."
The commercial was over and the next part focused on the men that frequent the hookers. Not a single man was able to make himself look okay with his own words. Everything came out just screaming "I AM BROKEN. I AM PATHETIC AND CANNOT CONNECT WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING ON ANY KIND OF LEVEL OF INTIMACY" So Connor and I discussed that further.
David may think it is okay to pass on his fucked up view of women and sexual relationships to his boys (and we see how well they are doing) but he is not going to make comments like that in front of my son and me just let it go and not break it down for what it is.
We feel the same way about strippers and the men that frequent them. I have been in a strip club. It reeks of desperation and pathetic. It is full of sadness and weakness. It disgusts me.
My brother for years has been partaking of the services of hookers. While he is sober and successful, he is possibly the most miserable person I have ever known. His childhood was shit. He was pushed away by people who had a better relationship with their bottle of liquor than their children. He spent most of his life putting any kind of poison he could find into his body and numbing up instead of learning how to have relationships like the rest of us.
He is initially charming when someone meets him. He is clever, quick, witty, and smart. He is generous. That quickly falls to the side as he begins to demonstrate to people how he is smarter and better than they are. Even if he has made the same mistakes, that was in the past, not now, so he is better than they are. His generosity stems a lot from his belief that his worth is in his wealth. He doesn't seem to think he has anything else to offer but money, so he offers it up generously. He spends so much time being an obnoxious braggart, no one sticks around too long to show him how he really does have other redeeming qualities.
So... no nookie unless he pays for it. He used to say in front of his two teenage boys, "I don't pay them for sex. I am paying them to leave afterwards" He said that in front of me and his boys with his "Ain't I so clever " face on and I followed it up with a very dry, "Yes, David. Because you have always had such a hard time getting the ladies to leave. You have to beat them off with a stick now, is it?" I heard BJ saying it once when I was up there. BJ smells so bad, you cannot convince me there is a lady that gets within 10 feet of him. She would have to be just as stoned as he is.
While Connor and I were visiting, we caught a 20/20 episode that was talking about prostitutes and johns. It was a follow up on a previous show they had done before. This show depicted clearly how pathetic and broken and sad and sick these women were. At every commercial Connor and I would talk about how the women didn't like this. They hated themselves, they hated the men, they had to get drunk and high to do it. They only laughed at and pitied the men. David was sitting near by listening. He got up at one point and got a list of names and numbers and showed it to me asking, "Do you know what this is" I said, "Yes. A list of female names and phone numbers" He said, "yes.. but do you know WHAT they are?" I said, "Yes. And I am a little disturbed by the one named GRANDMA"
He shot back, "That is a number where I can get a hold of her at her grandmother's house"
"You hire hookers that are so pathetic they can't earn enough for their own place, they work out of their granny's house?!" "Whatever. I am not judging. If you are into old ladies, that is your bag."
The commercial was over and the next part focused on the men that frequent the hookers. Not a single man was able to make himself look okay with his own words. Everything came out just screaming "I AM BROKEN. I AM PATHETIC AND CANNOT CONNECT WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING ON ANY KIND OF LEVEL OF INTIMACY" So Connor and I discussed that further.
David may think it is okay to pass on his fucked up view of women and sexual relationships to his boys (and we see how well they are doing) but he is not going to make comments like that in front of my son and me just let it go and not break it down for what it is.
We feel the same way about strippers and the men that frequent them. I have been in a strip club. It reeks of desperation and pathetic. It is full of sadness and weakness. It disgusts me.
Connor asked me today if I thought about working a second job doing makeup. I said, "I have thought about applying to work at Ulta, or Sephora or something. Why?"
He said, "You are good at putting it on and making people look pretty. You are glamorous"
Awww..... That was sweet.
He said, "You are good at putting it on and making people look pretty. You are glamorous"
Awww..... That was sweet.