it is all dangermouse74's fault

[sereneorange]

Because of dangermouse74 I go to http://www.overheardinnewyork.com and find these gems:

Seems Like That Lead is Working
Guy #1: They put lead in ice cream so it makes you retarded.
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: Yeah, they put all sorts of chemicals in food; genocide, pesticide...
--A train

"Roly Poly" Isn't a Very Funny Pet Name
Guy #1: Dude, you're fat as shit and getting balder by the minute, you really need to lock her in.
Guy #2: I don't know man, she is super cool. She's just so sensitive about everything.
Guy #1: Like what?
Guy #2: I make jokes that she doesn't understand and gets mad really easily and takes everything so personal.
Guy #1: What do you mean?
Guy #2: Well...I guess she just doesn't like it when I make fun of her.
--4 train

Guy #1: I'm not gay, dude.
Guy #2: Yes you are. I see you giving me those looks at work.
Guy #1: You know what? You're right. So right here in front of God and the N train, will you go out with me?
Guy #2 Shit man, I was kidding. You really are a fag.

-N train

The Secret Comedian Cells Spring Into Action
Woman: It's a pity about that actress who stabbed someone with her knife. What's her name? ...Um...Reese?
Chick: Witherspoon?
Woman: No! With her knife!
--Central Park

Someone Needs to Hire a Closet Organizer
Black teen boy #1: I think that dude is gay. His brother said that he saw him in the backyard with this other dude, who pulled his pants down and started jerking it right there.
Black teen boy #2: I don't want to hear this.
Black teen boy #1: No, so this dude's jerking off, and when he finally finishes, he shoots it right at the other dude.
Black teen boy #2: I told you, I don't want to hear this.
Black teen boy #1: No, so he's totally gay, because instead of beating him up, you know what he did?...No, instead of beating him up for shooting his shit on him, he pulled down his pants and peed on him.
Black teen boy #2: You are embarrassing yourself.
Black teen boy #1: That's just what his brother told me.
--Q train

Woman: Okay, maybe your cousin's not gay...but he's more in touch with his inner faggot than any straight man I've ever known.
--Key Food, 4th & A


I am just sitting at my desk crying now..

Comments

[laffinman.livejournal.com]

....Ohhh OOF!!...err uhhh
++++++++++++++++=

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

it was the peeing one, right?

[laffinman.livejournal.com]

ugh..gak.....awk.....yea, thats the one

[dangermouse74.livejournal.com]

=)