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sereneorangeThere is this 20 year old, Juan, that used to work with me at Bank One. Since I have known him, he has been trying to sleep with me. He is alright looking. He is tall, great smile, but has a giant head that I think would look really fucking weird if he wasn't 6'4". I joke around with him, but would never do anything with him. There are many reasons, but a big one is that he is freaking 14 years younger than me. (holy crap! 14 years! I am so fucking old!!!)
One day I was talking to him and he was grinning and talking smack about how well hung he is, and I looked him up and down and said, "6...6 1/2 tops." His face fell and he said, "How do you do that?!?!" He tried to recover and go back to talking like he was hung like a Snuffleuppagus, but I told him, "Too late, buddy! I saw your face. I am right!"
He sends me a text message tonight trying to convince me to see him. He now decides he likes to go down. He didn't before. This is a new thing. I am no more wanting him than before. Oh goody, he is new at it...it should be completely mediocre. No thanks. That would just frustrate me anyway. He said he is "like a chink now" Not being into the racial slurs it took me a bit before I realized that he meant Asian.
How is he like an Asian?
Marilyn: like a chink? holy fucking shit that is racist...but not very sexy.. you go now, thumbdick
Juan: Lol yeah a chink cause i like 2 eat d kitties now
Marilyn: asian men do a lot of that? I didn't know.. but all the hispanic men I know do...except you ...slacker
Juan: But i do i do i swear i do i even lick chocolate star fishes
Marilyn: lol...you are cracking me up here....
Marilyn: chocolate starfishes....lol...I am fucking dying.
Juan: U no d bunghole only 1 in a million men do dat im dat 1
Marilyn: lots of men do....
Marilyn: poor sheltered Juan..thinking you discovered something new........
Juan: Have u ever had it done
Marilyn: yes. Every morning. I skip breakfast and go straight for ass
Juan: Well i have discovered d sensational taste of dung
Marilyn: lovely
Marilyn: I much prefer a clean ass
Marilyn: what the fuck have you been doing?
Juan: Will i have d honors of goin 2 gerb ville i wana visit her downtown
Marilyn: you are going to catch the Rotaviris!
Juan: Ive been workin alot on my sales n my stamina both at work n on d bed
Marilyn: At the same time? I bet you are popular at work!
What the hell?? Discovered the lovely taste of dung? Holy fucking shit. I am sitting here laughing so damn hard I am getting dizzy. I am so far from turned on, it is ridiculous.
One day I was talking to him and he was grinning and talking smack about how well hung he is, and I looked him up and down and said, "6...6 1/2 tops." His face fell and he said, "How do you do that?!?!" He tried to recover and go back to talking like he was hung like a Snuffleuppagus, but I told him, "Too late, buddy! I saw your face. I am right!"
He sends me a text message tonight trying to convince me to see him. He now decides he likes to go down. He didn't before. This is a new thing. I am no more wanting him than before. Oh goody, he is new at it...it should be completely mediocre. No thanks. That would just frustrate me anyway. He said he is "like a chink now" Not being into the racial slurs it took me a bit before I realized that he meant Asian.
How is he like an Asian?
Marilyn: like a chink? holy fucking shit that is racist...but not very sexy.. you go now, thumbdick
Juan: Lol yeah a chink cause i like 2 eat d kitties now
Marilyn: asian men do a lot of that? I didn't know.. but all the hispanic men I know do...except you ...slacker
Juan: But i do i do i swear i do i even lick chocolate star fishes
Marilyn: lol...you are cracking me up here....
Marilyn: chocolate starfishes....lol...I am fucking dying.
Juan: U no d bunghole only 1 in a million men do dat im dat 1
Marilyn: lots of men do....
Marilyn: poor sheltered Juan..thinking you discovered something new........
Juan: Have u ever had it done
Marilyn: yes. Every morning. I skip breakfast and go straight for ass
Juan: Well i have discovered d sensational taste of dung
Marilyn: lovely
Marilyn: I much prefer a clean ass
Marilyn: what the fuck have you been doing?
Juan: Will i have d honors of goin 2 gerb ville i wana visit her downtown
Marilyn: you are going to catch the Rotaviris!
Juan: Ive been workin alot on my sales n my stamina both at work n on d bed
Marilyn: At the same time? I bet you are popular at work!
What the hell?? Discovered the lovely taste of dung? Holy fucking shit. I am sitting here laughing so damn hard I am getting dizzy. I am so far from turned on, it is ridiculous.
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Date: 2005-04-22 01:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-04-22 04:22 am (UTC)Tangentally, I've heard older women can teach a lot to younger men, though. :-D
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Date: 2005-04-22 06:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-22 04:54 am (UTC)Every morning for the ass, eh?
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Date: 2005-04-22 03:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-22 05:48 am (UTC)Marilyn: yes. Every morning. I skip breakfast and go straight for ass
AHAHAHAHA...you're my kidn of woman. If you knew how *I* really am, I'm much like Juan, only much more experienced.
By the way, we have alphabet magnets on our fridge that say "TOUCH MY STARFISH". And yes, we mean the chocolate one. ;D (Chelle's ring is inscribed with "DO NOT LOSE IN STARFISH" XD!!!)
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Date: 2005-04-22 06:47 am (UTC)aaaaahhhhhhhHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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Date: 2005-04-22 03:42 pm (UTC)HAHAH. Shit!
I'm also amused that he text msgs with a Spanish accent... or is that just my imagination? :)
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Date: 2005-04-22 11:24 pm (UTC)Besides, he should know that you prefer men closer to your age...like only a few short months younger than you. ;) lol
Gee, look at that! My countdown thingie on Firefox says it's only 15 days until my 34th b-day! What a coincidence! ;)
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Date: 2005-04-22 11:55 pm (UTC)actually, I dig them in a huge range. I have actually dated someone 10 years younger and 19 years older.
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Date: 2005-04-23 05:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-04-23 05:58 pm (UTC)