Natasha Lyonne is a dirty dirty girl

[sereneorange]

Another Warrant for Lyonne's Arrest

Lyonne is facing a number of charges, including her alleged threat to sexually molest her former neighbor's dog during a 2004 altercation. She is also charged with criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing.

Oh sweet chocolate christ! When my sister called me to tell me this lovely little news tidbit, I could barely control myself.  We imagined her screaming, whilst high as hell, " I will F*CK your dog!!!!!"

Does that threat work? I can imagine if she was standing screaming on my lawn, I wouldn't be terribly afraid of her, but Fido would have only supervised bathroom breaks, lest she be hiding in the bushes, pouncing position, ready to make good on her threat.

Comments

[gudenna.livejournal.com]

i wonder if "i will cut your dog's balls off!" is considered sexually molesting?

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

possibly, but not nearly as funny

[thatvoiceguy.livejournal.com]

I had the same mental image. Horrifying and amusing all at once...

Plus, I imagined the dog overhearing this and saying "That skank? In your dreams, ho."

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

man.. .to be slighted by a dog...

[onnotangu.livejournal.com]

red rocket red rocket!

so she enjoys a bit of dogcock. doesn't every beastlover?

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

red rocket red rocket!
yick

[onnotangu.livejournal.com]

Cops: ma'am Please stop letting that dog hump you. there are men willing to hump you at any time. ma'am please stop tying with that dog...Ted..get the vasline we got a knotter.

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, you are not right!!!

[onnotangu.livejournal.com]

yeah the doctor keeps saying that and I keep trying to lick his scapel.

*rimshot*

[antigone-ks.livejournal.com]

Ok, that? Was just fucking awesome.

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

Sean is indeed brilliant

[onnotangu.livejournal.com]

every blue moon, I uncover comedy plutonium from the graveyard of my brain.

[damocles-tongue.livejournal.com]

I'm trying my very best to care, but falling well short. But she remains a rank amateur, who needs to work her way through the animal kingdom, to match the feats of Catherine the Great.

PS. Is it any surprise that a woman who starred in a movie about fucking apple pies has moved on to pets?

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

not the least bit shocking.

[damocles-tongue.livejournal.com]

she should consider doing a foursome video with Paris Hilton and her chihuahua

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

oh man.. now I have to go poke out my mind's eye! Thanks a lot

[smokeyblunts.livejournal.com]

i thought she was so hot in the american pie movies. i'd totally watch her jerk off a dog

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

lol...You should read the article that Michael Rapaport wrote about her in a magazine. Apparently she is such a coked out fiend that she caused $15,000.00 worth of damage to the apartment he rented to her and had to have her arrested because she was stalking and threatening people

[smokeyblunts.livejournal.com]

well she can stalk me anytime.

i can see her being a cokehead though. no worse than that slut and bad attress tara reid though.

i should see that but i'ma cheerleader movie. i hear it's actually good, like seriously funny good

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

but I'm a cheerleader? I will look into it