Oh Connor. . .

[sereneorange]

You poor little dumbshit.


When I got home last night, Fini was laying down for a nap. Connor was logging off of the computer. Hrm? What is he doing on the computer?

I asked him and he said (in his lying voice) "I was checking my email."

Ok. I sat down and pet Bodhi while he finished his Spanish homework. I looked over his agenda. I went and picked up dinner, then sat down at the PC, logged into his profile and looked at the history. He had not actually checked his email. He had, however, looked at a game site and watched about 12 Red Vs. Blue on youtube.com. Busted again.

We also found his old gameboy under his mattress last week. I am not sure what is more dissapointing. The fact that he lies and sneaks so much or that at 14 he is still so godawful at it.

Comments

[juciest.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the world of being the mother of a teenager. Isn't it fun?!?!?!? Hope and pray he stays bad at lying and sneaking...maybe that way he'll finally figure out it's not worth it. If he gets good at it, he'll learn that he can lie and sneak with everyone, and there are too many in this world that do that now. And be thankful that all you found under his mattress was his gameboy, it could have been something shocking.

If you have access to his profile on the computer, change his password and YOU log on for him when you allow him to check his email. Then, again, go back and check his history to see where he's actually been. When he finds out he can't lie about it, he'll stop going to sites he's not allowed unless he learns to ask permission first.

You're a good mom. He knows that, and no matter how mad he may get at you for revoking his privileges he still loves you. #1, he's a boy...#2, he's a teenager, #3, he lives in a house with all women...but he has an excellent role model, and for that you should be proud. It's hard being a single mom, it's hard raising a boy by yourself (I know, and I also raised two daughters alone). Praise him when he does well, and when you're disappointed in his actions, tell him you're disappointed in HIS ACTIONS, not him. It's not always easy to do, especially when you're so angry you want to smack the smarmy look off their faces (like our mothers did with us), but eventually he'll get the idea that if he changes his actions, he'll earn more rewards.

Did any of that make sense? I'm in pain today, damn weather...but anyway. Big hugs!

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

I decided this morning to password lock it. I cannot make Karen password lock her profile, but mine and his will be locked.

We do critisize his actions and not him. Last week when he said he was a liar, I told him that is not who he was, and wouldn't let him define himself that way, but boy, he sure was acting like one.

[juciest.livejournal.com]

Yes they do. My kids have never figured out how I always know when they're lying. Zack is just bad at it. The girls lie like their father did, and I always knew when he was lying, because he was bad at it as well. Ashleigh got better at it but I can still tell...but Megan clams up and then cries when I catch her in a lie. Like the time she almost set fire to my bathroom...

Anyway...you're doing a great job, even if it's not my place to say so...lol I can tell by your posts that you're a good mother, and that Conner is really a good boy. He's learning boundaries, testing the waters, seeing how far he can go, and you're doing everything you feel is necessary to teach him how to be a good man. I can tell you're proud of him. It's a stage...unfortunately is a hard one for both of you. I get to go through it again in 7 years, this time with MY son. Blah.

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

he really is a very good boy. He is empathetic and thoughtful.

He drives me bonkers sometimes, though.

Thanks for the comments.

Sneaking and lying

[fizzyland.livejournal.com]

Sadly both are normal at 14. Now, some like W, stay this way their entire lives.

Re: Sneaking and lying

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

oh, and we CANNOT be having that! No sir.

[wakeupkent.livejournal.com]

He's 14 and doesn't know about clearing his history and cache? I guess he hasn't discovered porn yet.

[eonblue21.livejournal.com]

my thoughts exactly -- when i started to read the post, pr0n came to mind -- you know, like most normal 14 year olds would be browsing

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

you know.. we just don't let him on that damn much any more. He was caught surfing cartoon porn and his grades are so craptacular that he hardly earns any computer time at all. He is almost never home alone with computer access

[alichick2004.livejournal.com]

He's not good at it cause you know him so well and he knows he'll probably get busted. You should be proud. You're a good mom. :) It's part Wed, Mar 12, 2008 the job. Ha ha

[alichick2004.livejournal.com]

Ha! Sorry about the date. I'm on my BlackBerry and quick keyed the wrong thing. I'm so damn smooth.

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

Karen said she thought something was up before she fell asleep. She described him as skulking around.

Fool boy. We always know. . . .

[badrahessa.livejournal.com]

*heh* sounds like my son ...they are pretty close in age.

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

I am glad he is so horrible at lying and sneaking, but I am worried for him at the same time. He should be better at it by now.