How fat girls should dress
Jan. 9th, 2009 12:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sereneorangeThank goodness for MSN and Good Housekeeping. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't know how to dress myself in a way to make sure I am not so revolting to the rest of the world.
"Colorful, dangly earrings (they draw attention to the face). " Because my body is a wreck? What if I want people to notice my fabulous ass?
"A blouse that can be worn with the collar up (creates width to balance hips)." for when I am going to time travel to the 1980's ?
"A V-neck shell under a swingy coat (shows off cleavage and hides hips)" Aren't women supposed to have hips? And why the hell would I want to dress like my grandmother?
"A sweater to wear around the neck (to soften broad shoulders)" Oh goody. I shall wear this and request that you all call me Buffy or Mitzy
"Tapered pants with a small print." No. tapered pants don't look good on anyone unless they are trying to make their asses look bigger and out of proportion.
Basically, I should dress like an old lady, find an invisibility cloak to wear from the neck down to make sure no one sees my hideous troll like body, or put flashers around my head as to draw the eye up and away from my disfigurements below.
"Colorful, dangly earrings (they draw attention to the face). " Because my body is a wreck? What if I want people to notice my fabulous ass?
"A blouse that can be worn with the collar up (creates width to balance hips)." for when I am going to time travel to the 1980's ?
"A V-neck shell under a swingy coat (shows off cleavage and hides hips)" Aren't women supposed to have hips? And why the hell would I want to dress like my grandmother?
"A sweater to wear around the neck (to soften broad shoulders)" Oh goody. I shall wear this and request that you all call me Buffy or Mitzy
"Tapered pants with a small print." No. tapered pants don't look good on anyone unless they are trying to make their asses look bigger and out of proportion.
Basically, I should dress like an old lady, find an invisibility cloak to wear from the neck down to make sure no one sees my hideous troll like body, or put flashers around my head as to draw the eye up and away from my disfigurements below.
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Date: 2009-01-13 04:21 am (UTC)