Things you have to believe to re-elect Bush today

[sereneorange]

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital
to a spirit of international harmony.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make
decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans'
benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.

Providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's cocaine conviction is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't pass this one, we're likely to be stuck with Bush for 4 more years.

Friends don't let friends vote for Bush

Comments

[godless-hobbit.livejournal.com]

Hear hear!

[vonotny.livejournal.com]

heh :-)

[fanatic.livejournal.com]

Saddam a good guy? Next you'll produce pictures of the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Jesus, the Tooth Fairy and Sam Hein playing a friendly game of No Limit Texas hold'em at the Horseshoe Casino..

What's vital about Vietnam? Other then that's where there's still missing service men from over 30 years ago are.
but who should we vote for?
Kerry? only thing good about John Kerry is that he's boinkin' Senator Heinz' widow now.

Raplh Nader? when that bag of bones passes from this world I'm gonna go find his grave and piss on the damn thing.

Hell I want to Vote for Robert Ritchie from Romeo, MI and Jesse James SR from Long Beach CA.

Just as unfunny (but balanced)...

[culturalbaggage.livejournal.com]

Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, however, there are some prerequisites you must have first. You need to go through the 21 step program to become a "Good" Democrat.


1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding.

2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach those same kids all about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by Americans driving SUVs'!

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the US military, not evil, tyrannical regimes start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress" and not power. She just wants to help us out of the archaic system of governing that we've been subjected to since our founding.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a cheat, liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and you would vote him back in there in a New York minute (if you could).

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, nudity, and transvestites should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest against prayer and saluting the flag in school, the 10 commandments in court, have far more rights than the majority who believe in God and country and want these values to be instilled in our young children.

If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs - you're gonna be a big asset to John Kerry.

Re: Just as unfunny (but balanced)...

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

Democrats do think about voting, but we also use our hearts as well. Unlike conservatives, we don't just spew whatever twisted shit comes out of the mouths of people like Rush... (more indians and trees today than when we started the country indeed hmmph)

Re: Just as unfunny (but balanced)...

[culturalbaggage.livejournal.com]

emoting in the absence of reason is certainly a liberal hallmark. reasoning in the absence of sentimentality is the collorary error committed by conservatives, but at least the results are better. ;)

oh, and rush was quite right about the trees, but may be wrong about the indians.

Re: Just as unfunny (but balanced)...

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

look here is the deal. When you post your right wing stuff on your journal, I read, think about it and move on.
Can you do that on mine?
My lack of commenting on yours has nothing to do with not having a response or an argument, but I do not feel like posting something insulting about your intelligence on your own journal. You could extend me the same courtesy. If my political posts are that offensive to you, you could take me off your friends list and you will not have to read any of my ignorant posts.

Re: Just as unfunny (but balanced)...

[culturalbaggage.livejournal.com]

my comment is in no way intended to be taken as an insult to your intelligence. it wasn't even directed at you, personally. if my comments are that offensive to you, you could take me off your friends list and you will not have to worry about such comments on any of your ignorant posts. ;)

Re: Just as unfunny (but balanced)...

[serene-orange.livejournal.com]

That is the singular most ugly and childish thing anyone has ever written to me. Somehow I was not expecting it. Kudos.