I yoinked this from motherpuckett

a. Choose 15 people from your friends list at random.
b. Write something about/to each of them.
c. Don't tell anyone who the statements are about. Good or bad. No matter how they beg!

1. You are clearly insane. Devoted, loyal, passionate, but wow, are you ever gone. You are offensive, but amusing and I cannot keep myself from reading you trying to make sense of what the hell you are talking about.

2.  You are in pain, struggling constantly, failing often. I hardly comment, but read your every post hoping to hear that it is getting better. I love that you don't give up.

3. We have shared some good times. You are the most pessimistic chick I have ever met. I adore your dry sense of humor. You never talk to me anymore. You don't miss me, and for that you can just eat it.

4. You are intelligen and insanely hot and I want to kiss your head. Not that one.. freak!

5. I dig you so much. How can we be that different. Your writing is intelligent and amusing and I don't understand why you read me at all.

6. You are such an ass. Almost everything you write proves it. You are also freakishly pretty for a boy. Every now and then you write something that is unlike your usual writing and I want to take you out for coffee and hear you talk so you can surprise me more.

7. I don't know why I like you at all. You really are an obnoxious prick. But I do like you. I hope things continue to get better for you. You are clearly intelligent but seem to be more reactionary than intellectual.

8. I found your journal by reading through the journal of a girlfriend of someone that used to be on my list. She attacted you, he flirted with you, and you gave them both such a buuuuuuuuuuurn .  You are infinitely cool.

9. You are a treasure. I dig reading your occasional posts and decided to read more about you. You wirte much much more than what you have here. You are truly talanted .

10. You  commented in my journal after you found me on the pretty boy's list. You tickle the hell out of me. Your posts are short but amusing. I like the one's you write while you are baked.

11.  You are simply one of the coolest chicks I know of. You have giant balls of steel...amazingly self possessed for someone your age. And you can appreciate how much of a bad mamma jamma my kid is.

12.  You are possibly more liberal than me. That seems impossible. I have no idea where I found  you.. oh yeah.. on a community attacking a common foe. Jesus. y ou are funny.

13. You, oh you I just want to hug, make laugh, hang out with. You are so wonderful, sweet, brave, amazing, wonderfully smart and geeky. Any one you ever chose to love or befriend should count themselves blessed.

14. You are someone that I can imagine is bouncy and silly even when you are in your worst mood. I could be wrong. You do a job that I cannot imagine doing and seem to be able to not dwell on it...leave it at work. I could never do that. That is amazing. You post more than me I think, and that tells me that you need a life.

15. You don't post enough.  I comment like a mutha on your posts, and you are a comment whore enough that you always write back. I don't know why I dig you so much. I just do.

Please press option number2

For people who call their bank.

1. cursing out your banker, never good. It will never ever get you what you want. It makes us tell the supervisor you asked us to transfer you to what an ass you are and notate your account so you will never get a fee refund.
2. When someone answers the phone and says, "This is *insert banker name here*. How can I help you?" the correct responses are not any of the following:

• I am calling about my account . * and then shut up and leave it at that* really? Then you have called the right place, because I cannot assist you with your aphid infestation, but I do have access to your account! ..what specifically are you calling about?
• What is going on with my account?  well, there are things coming in...things going out. Come the hell on.. what do you need to know?
•  Why did you let that debit post to my account? How can you just let things post without my permission?  you are absolutely correct. We will need your cell phone number, because from now on, we are going to call you every time a merchant tries to get an authorization on your debit card to make sure that this  is a purchase you want to go through. If y ou do not answer , we are going to assume your card is stolen and close it. Your new card will be there in 5-7 business days
• What are those charges pending on my account? $32 DOLLARS? what the hell is $32 Dollars for? Oh..payless? yeah.. I remember that. $14.25?  What the hell is that for? oh, Exxon you say? oh, yeah. .. I just did that this morning. $15.50? I didn't do any purchase for no $15.50!! oh.. CVS? yeah. I bought some mascara..blah blah blah. two things- write a fucking transaction down every now and then., and quit acting like every freaking transaction is the bank stealing your money. How do you not remember ANY of the damn purchases you have made over the last 2 days? Jesus. Are you just perpetually STONED?
• when asked for the date and amount of your last deposit  HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA the date and the amount of my last deposit? Hell... I have no idea? ask me something else.   alright a few things here: 1. stop with the crazy laugh. I just asked a simple question. 2. your average daily balance is like a fucking buck o'3 and you made a $4,000.00 deposit 2 days ago and that doesn't stand out in your mind?  3. again, not trying to beat a dead horse here, but if you have a mind like a sieve, you may need to consider writing shit down in those nifty registers we give you with your checkbooks

3. I appreciate when people want to be brave and try out new technology, but, really, if you cannot get online without your children's assistance, I think online bill pay is a lofty ambition for you right now.
4. If you cannot speak English, please press the option for a Spanish speaking representative. Si usted no puede hablar inglés, elija por favor la opción para un
representante de habla hispana
5. Perhaps treating someone that has access to your personal financial and demographic information like absolute dog shit is not just classless, it is stupid.

While watching the history channel...

Fini are watching the history channel and there is a documentary about Ivan the terrible coming on

Me: You know what Ivan was?
Fini: terrible?
Me:Exactly!
Fini: Can you imagine being so bad that that is part of your name?
Me: No.. the most I could get would be Marilyn the not so fair, Marilyn the Bitchy, Marilyn the Opinionated.
Fini: Karen the "my .....doesn't she think a lot of herself?"

Because motherpuckett told me to, and we all know how well I follow directions.

1. Stop talking about politics for a moment or two.
2. Post a reasonably-sized picture in your LJ, NOT under a cut tag, of something pleasant, such as an adorable kitten, or a fluffy white cloud, or a bottle of booze. Something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS.
3. Include these instructions, and share the love.




You cannot imagine how much I hate photographs of myself. I do not take good pictures, but this is about as good as it gets.

Yoinked jokes from vuurvasthouden who yoinked from ashkitty

( cut for kindness )

yick.. tainted *snicker* teeth.

Connor had some vampire teeth left over from Halloween, and Fini threw them on the chair. Later, we spot saffie sprawled in her usual way on the chair"


Then we noticed:


I should probably tell Connor before he puts those in his mouth, huh?