My Two Cents Are Free

yeah... I am not okay with "the other"

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But, we didn't have the benefit of medication, or even knowing what was wrong with me.

At the risk of sounding like that a-hole whom I despise, Tom Cruise, does the medication really make that much of a difference? No medication has ever worked for me, that's why I ask.

I cannot control what he does when he is at school.

Well, if you can't, it's quite possible he can't either, no matter how much organization or good skills you try to set for him.

I was hoping that they would hold him back last year to teach him how bad it is to fail, but they wouldn't do it because he was testing on 6-post high school when he was in 5th grade.

Sometimes I wish I too had been held back, but I wonder now if that would've made a difference or not. They always put me in gifted student classes and I felt more out of place there than in regular classes. I don't and never have liked to be singled out as "special" or "smart"; I just wanted to live my childhood. :\

But passing kids like that isn't new, it's not part of the "new trend" of asses excusing/making excuses for bad/poor performance. It's the way it was when I was his age, too. How to explain it? Beats me.

This is insane, a very intelligent boy who is fully capable of the work, making shit for grades.

Geniuses have been known to fail their classes. And my father and teachers said the same thing about me, ver batim; that I was a very intelligent kid fully capable of the work making shit for grades.

He has joined Chess club. They meet in the morning.

If that is of his own volition, that is so awesome. Chess is a great game...fuckall those who make fun of chess club people.

He said his teacher told him it was for people with low social skills.

I think we've discovered the problem here.

Perhaps it's in the style of teaching. I know that it was partially that way in my case; teachers can love their subject but often hate their jobs/positons, and it shows. if you're a teacher and you don't really care about a particular kid's progress, it doesn't matter how much you say you love kids, it'll show. And kids pick up on these things. And if you don't care about the kid/teaching properly, the kid won't care about his own progress.

I had many teachers like that, and teachers who glommed onto kids who were wiz kids at the subject they were teaching. Those who have trouble in the subject are often ignored...very little patience goes around.

I think the best teacher I had was my AP Art Portfolio teacher that I had in high school. I was the first kid to start the class in theri sophomore year; it was a senior class. So therefore, I was stuck in the class for three years straight. He saw my work in my freshman year and kinda recruited me (which was good for me because the sophomore art teacher was a dirty pervert and his class/teaching style was useless). I did just fine in his class because I loved art and would do whatever it was he wanted, yet he busted my balls when I fucked up. I still did the work though, and I understood all about the real way a teacher should ignore kids; he ignored me a little bit because he knew I could do the work and concentrated on busting balls harder on the kids who needed severe help. I was fine with that because by my senior year I earned the right to do whatever the fuck I wanted. I even had a cubicle in the expansive art room all to myself and I threw a mattress in there and had my stereo...it was like a total dorm room :D!

(more, since LJ is a whore)

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Anyway, I think the point of my rambling is...have you ever consdiered an alternative school or way of schooling? How about homeschooling? or do you not have time for that? Damn. If I were there I'd be happy to help out...but I'm tellin' ya now, I can't do math for shit. XD!!!

How about electronic study aids? Something fun that would keep his attention, even if it is a video game. I know that I was fascinated by the Oregon Trail program I was subjected to when I was in the third grade. XD!!! And if you really can't afford to blow any $ on anything, there's always the internet. I know that's not much and no replacement for the actual books he has to have for class, but it's something. If he forgets his history book? Google a good site on the subject he's on. I know, I know...it'll suck for the types of books that have work problems in them, but I can't give you everything/a solution to that one, kid. I can only offer suggestions.

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the chess club can help him focus and in many ways, make him both more conscious of his actions and choices, consequences. i'm impressed, frankly :) chess isn't an easy game.

sounds like you and i could spend the afternoon trying to figure out our kids. julian just spent 7 hours straight catching up on math homework that he's not been doing because he lost his book over a week ago and didn't tell anyone. it's easy to blame ourselves by saying "i should check his log, have his teacher send me daily reports" whatever. but they eventually have to take responsibility for their actions. i know what it's like to be frustrated at teh good/bad behavior. my son has good days and bad days. they're so opposite that i'd swear he was bipolar. i can't imagine how you do it, hon. at least i have my husband to split the suffering.

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laffinman.livejournal.com

Social life at school can play a major role in a kid's academic performance....'specialy if it's horrible for him/her.
Is Connor catching grief from kids at chool?
If so, try and get a scense of how many are causing him trouble.

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his teacher that said that is 1) the most favorite teacher in the whole school. He comes in early on his own time for chess club and teaches after school for free karate, science and robotics, and chess.
2) I personally think was a correct assessment

the medication makes a huge difference, but is not a magic pill. The pill simply makes it more possible for him to make behavior modifications.

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home schooling is not an option. I have to work. I don't dislike public schools. I would hate to see what happens to his social skills out of this setting.

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Connor sounds a lot like your julian. How old is he?

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I am not alone in this at all. My sister is his other parent. She is full on in all aspects of raising him.

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he'll be 12 in november, but i swear he acts like a 30 year old some days adn on others, a 4 year old. [but i think that's just a MAN thing].

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that's EXCELLENT! it's good to have that support. my biggest problem [which inevitably makes it the boy's problem] is tim and i come from two totally different backgrounds when it comes to child rearing. so often times, we undermine one another without realizing it. it's all about consistency. i've found that as long as there's that, they have a structure to go by that doesn't confuse them.

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Connor will be 12 in Feb. he is like this very immature little boy with a 400 year old soul

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it is really cool .we are so very much on a common ground that she will tell him one thing, then when I get home she asks me and I say almost the same thing verbatim . We are very much a united front

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then you should be praying for ME!

hahaha :)

no, seriously, that's the best thing. i feel like i'm pulling teeth when it comes to tim. remember the old Nuclear Family and the roles they played? where the wife would say "wait till your father gets home" or kept stuff from the father just so he wouldn't tear the kids a new one? well, I'M the father it seems. :P drives me nuts, because as much as i tell tim to tell me what happens when it happens, he thinks he can fix it. so i'm in the dark about things until they get out of hand. it's frustrating.

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2) I personally think was a correct assessment

That what was a correct assessment? I'm lost and high at the moment. XD! Need clarification, please, sweetcheeks. :-*

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Pretty much figured that would be your answer. :-*

Not that this will be useful anyway, but social skills can be made up for in a homeschooling environment with extracurricular/non-school related youth groups. There are many run by church groups, Big Brothers Assoc., the Y...just gotta find the good ones. And out of the crappy hierarchial structure of "regular school", social skills might actually turn out better in those settings.

Anyhoo. I know you have to work...I happen to dislike public schools and the state of education (but then I also have a disdain for private schools for entirely different reasons). Maybe having a little Google fun and researching the study aids might help, and I'll pass any along if I find any good ones (things that I think might be good). :-*

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Well hey man, he is technically immature. He's still a child, no matter how fast he's growing. XD!

But I'm sure that by 17 he'll have grown out of a little bit of the immaturity. ;)

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that the kids that join chess club are usually a little socially akward.

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he is pretty good at researching on the internet. All summer long we gave him homework where he had to research someone like John Lennon, Celia Cruz, Reuben Blades, etc...and write a report on them in Spanish.

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pinkpunkpornsta.livejournal.com

connor sounds exactly like me when i was a kid....right down to the ignoring homework, horrible dancing, and "low social skills" bit. I hope he doesn't do what i did, when he gets to high school. Oh...and that whole "low social sklls" bit was hilarious, I laughed my ass off. I ran track because you didn't have to talk to anyone, (i was horrible at conversation...everything would inexplicably become about sex) and it was a great expenditure of energy...which i had a plethora of. I'm glad i did...i learned what i positively do NOT want to do ever again. I totally dig chess, though. and golf. and tennis. I'm such a nerd.

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