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[personal profile] sereneorange
Stolen from [profile] fizzyland

10 reasons gay marriage is WRONG!

1) Being gay is unnatural. Except when animals do it. Then you're like OMG using animals to justify your unnatural sexual desires that turn out to be pretty natural. And animals mostly have hetero sex, so that also must be bestial and disgusting.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that legal alcohol encourages people to be alcoholics and prohibition totally worked for booze.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to the end of slavery, women voting or children working in mines.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serene-orange.livejournal.com
go ahead. No idea where it came from I yoinked it from someone else

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimmerdance.livejournal.com
Yeah, I know, but you TOTALLY could have written this. It sounds like a lot of the things you actually say.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serene-orange.livejournal.com
because I am eat up with snarky

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimmerdance.livejournal.com
cuz u r smart and you know, like all artikulit and stuff.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serene-orange.livejournal.com
oh shit! Interweb overload, she is writing in cat macro!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimmerdance.livejournal.com
my brayne damij. Let me show you it.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serene-orange.livejournal.com
lol.
My son kept doing that one day over phone text. He thought he was doing ghetto texting, but it was all cat macro-y. cracked me up

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimmerdance.livejournal.com
now, if you REALLY want to be cruel, take some of his texts and post them over cute kitty images so he knows just how much of a dork he was being. (I am eeeebil, and don't you forget it!)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] serene-orange.livejournal.com
he LOVES cat macros. The ghetto attempt was snarky on his part. He makes fun of the ghetto kids in his school.
Connor is a giant dork.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-03-26 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimmerdance.livejournal.com
Oh very nice. I have 3 kids who are completely goofy in their own, inimitable ways, and I absolutely LOVE that about them.

I loathe cat macros, myself, but I have many, many friends who ar completely obsessed with enjoy them. Go figure.

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